try sitting with a problem

When you feel you have a problem in life, try doing nothing about it.

This is one of the most advanced and subtle things you can do. Normally when we have a problem, we try to fix it. We may try to get rid of the problem. We may try changing something in our life in order to resolve the problem. We may try escaping from the problem. If we can run away enough, then the problem also is left behind and we are free of it. These are the normal approaches that we take when a problem arises.

But with today's exercise, I urge you to take a different approach altogether. And this involves not trying to solve the problem; not trying to get rid of it in any way; instead, sitting with it. This does not mean ignoring the problem. It just means bringing awareness to the problem, without any movement, without trying to fix the problem.

It is remarkably difficult to do. It sounds simple, doesn't it? But actually, our tendency to try and fix problems is deeply ingrained in us. And ultimately, this habitual response to problems is part of the reason we feel something to be a problem in the first place. And so, this very advanced technique of not trying to solve problems, but sitting with them with full awareness, can eventually break down that habitual pattern in the mind; and ultimately, lead us to a state where we do not feel things as a problem in the first place.

It is our belief that we can solve problems which creates the problem in the first instance. And this exercise is all about changing that way of being in the world.

So, when you feel a problem, arising in your life – it could be some difficult decision that needs to be made, it could be something which is felt to be painful, awkward, unpleasant – try doing nothing about it. Keep your awareness on the issue as often as possible throughout the day. Spend some time dedicated to sitting still, silently, contemplating the problem, feeling it without thinking too much about it. It is not a case of analysing the problem. Rather, we treat any problem as a sort of zen koan, an unsolvable riddle.

If we bring enough energy to the problem, without trying to fix it, then the problem itself can yield a secret, can show us something that we did not know was in us. And this is the real beauty of this method: that every problem can turn out to be a great gift. But it can take time. It can be hours; it can be days; it can be weeks or months. So patience is needed. And all the time, to be sitting with the problem somewhere in you as an energy, somehow a little uncomfortable, until finally it is ready to yield its secret.

So play with this method. But look out for the subtleties. The mind will want to escape, somehow. It will think up solutions. It will create answers. And it is not about finding an answer. It is about allowing the problem to dissolve; and in that dissolving, show us something about ourself, and about life.

So, next time a problem arises in your life, try sitting with it, with awareness and nothing else.